


Goodnight (Love you)

by FiremanSam



Series: Imagine Me And You [2]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Happy Ending, Insecurity, M/M, More Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:21:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23585287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiremanSam/pseuds/FiremanSam
Summary: "You want romance?"Eddie was teasing, but Buck decided to answer honestly."I want whatever you'll give me."
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Series: Imagine Me And You [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1697710
Comments: 26
Kudos: 462





	Goodnight (Love you)

Four days.

Four torturous days.

One kiss.

Four days, though.

Buck was going crazy. The morning after, the literal _morning after_ they'd slept together hadn't been awkward at all, just as Eddie had said it wouldn't be. It wasn't like they would be climbing all over eachother in front of Christopher, anyway, but in reality it was the little things. Standing closer while they did the dishes, their arms touching occasionally, only this time without Buck obsessing that he was being weird or creepy, like he'd been so worried about recently.

Eddie and Chris had plans with family so they'd been spared the awkwardness of waiting for the right moment to leave, or not to, as Buck was hardly desperate to go home and do nothing, alone. He mostly planned to go back to bed and replay the night before over and over in his head like a movie. Rated R.

When they were all getting ready to head out Christopher had gone to his room to get his backpack and Buck was looking out of the window onto the street, minding his own business as he waited to say goodbye to him. He was lost in thought, and he jumped when suddenly a warm and solid Eddie was hugging him firmly from behind, his hand rubbing gently over his chest. Before Buck could react Eddie kissed him gently on the back of his neck and released him.

Surprised but definitely not unhappy about it, Buck had caught Eddie's arm as he moved away and pulled him closer for a proper kiss. A kiss with a promise of something more.

Something more that hadn't happened.

It was hard. Eddie had Chris, his family, school and just generally a more complicated life than Buck did. Adding in to that all of the inevitable things that he imagined Eddie was thinking about, guys, sex, a whole change in his life that of course would be coming after 18 months of upheaval.

Buck got it, he really, honestly did.

Work, though. That had been fine, at least at first.

They were definitely on the same page where that was concerned. It had gone unspoken between them that they would be totally normal and professional while they were there. And by and large, they were. It had helped that the shifts they'd done had genuinely been busy, and there had barely been enough time to stop and think, let alone about eachother.

It hadn't been all plain sailing though, but Buck was pretty proud of himself for only having one little wobble. They had just got back from an accident on the freeway where Eddie had got really, really dirty, and he had disappeared off to get out of his filthy clothes. Buck legitimately just happened to be walking past the locker room as Eddie was changing, talking with Hen. As they passed he was confronted with the sight of Eddie just as he went to take his shirt off. Eddie caught Buck's eye, going still for a beat before he pulled it off in the exact same way he'd done in his bedroom, and he knew it too. To his credit Buck managed to carry on walking but hadn't realized he had stopped talking until Hen nudged him. He looked over his shoulder at Eddie and mock glared at him, hiding a smile behind his hand when Eddie smirked and turned to face the other way as he tugged a fresh shirt over his head. Asshole.

But come the evening he stayed at home, just a drive away. So close but yet so far had never seemed so cruel or so true.

He didn't offer to come over, and Eddie didn't ask.

So it was hard. Literally and figuratively.

In some messed up way Buck almost wished nothing had ever actually happened between them. His imagination had become very good over the last year of conjuring up all kinds of things, and he had gotten nowhere near to exhausting the limits of his fantasies. But it felt off now, dirty. _Fake_. Now that he knew what it felt like to be touched by Eddie, kissed by him, nothing else compared to the real thing. And now he found the more he tried to remember every detail of the things they'd done the more he started to doubt his recollection of events entirely.

But he was determined to not push it. To be mature. Plus he didn't know what level of interaction would spook Eddie, despite what he'd told him about not regretting anything. He couldn't let his insecurities win out, to let them take over like they always did. There _was_ something between them and he would just have to be a patient. He could be patient. He was _very_ used to being patient.

Text messages. They were safe, right? Eddie was often more open when he wasn't having to say the actual words. It was a delicate balance, though. Trying to keep the conversations normal and not look like he was demanding attention or answers as to where they went from here.

When it came down to it though he was only human. After a night where they hadn't spoken since they'd given eachother a friendly wave as they left in separate cars, he had spent the night writing and rewriting texts before deleting them. Finally at 1am, when he'd resigned himself to not sleeping he caved and got his phone off the nightstand, typing quickly before he could change his mind.

**I wish I was there. Or you were here.**

He deliberately didn't have read receipts turned on, so he turned the screen face down and buried his head under the pillow, already regretting his boldness. Time ticked by, seemingly hours but he was unable to tell as he chastised himself for having risked upsetting the delicate foundation that their 'relationship', if it even was one, was resting precariously on.

Eventually the temptation to check how much time had elapsed won out, and he groaned when he saw it had only been fifteen minutes. If Eddie was asleep, which of course he was, then maybe Buck had a brief window to neutralize his mistake and send another text that cooled things down. As he pondered what he could possibly say a reply came through, making him drop the phone face down on the bed before he could see what it said.

Before he could torture himself with what it _might_ say, he made himself read it.

**You and wishes.....**

Huh. Flippant, maybe, but yeah, him and wishes. His silly wish had come true, hadn't it? Maybe Eddie meant that this one would too? Or maybe it was a gentle reminder that wishes were by their nature, wishes. Jesus, he was gonna go insane.

Great, there was now no chance of sleep. Why had he text him? Now he looked dumb, and pathetic. Childish. But then, just as he'd resigned himself to overthinking and obsessing until his body finally gave in and let him sleep, his phone buzzed again.

**Yeah me too.**

Buck tapped the screen every time it went dark until he fell asleep.

***

Another shift done, another stretch of time in close proximity without anything being said. Buck cared too much about being professional and not letting everybody down again, but it was starting to get harder and harder not to say anything when they found themselves out of earshot of other people.

Instead they talked about nothing. It was truly an art form of bullshit. They talked about the scenes they'd attended that day, the people they'd helped. They talked about the fucking weather. At the end of one fascinating conversation about what was the scientific name of clouds that looked fluffy (cumulonimbus, Buck knew but didn't say), Eddie said about how Christopher was going over to a friends house after school and how excited he had been that morning.

Buck was honestly happy to talk about Christopher, he missed him already, but Eddie trailed off when he seemed to realize too late that he was inferring that it meant he would be free. Luckily for him they had been rescued from any awkwardness by the alarm going off. Buck sulked about it in the back of truck, out of sight of Eddie's eyeline and looking out of the window as if he was focusing on the job, rather than his hurt feelings.

So now the shift was over and Buck was in no particular hurry to go home, alone. Again. What was left of the afternoon and the whole, long night just stretched out ahead of him, making him petulant and miserable. He took his time to get changed, worked out, showered, and when he could procrastinate no longer, went up the stairs to say goodbye to everybody. Including Eddie, who was also still there, leaning against the kitchen cabinets and scrolling through his phone. Their eyes met, and for the first time that day something seemed to pass between them, and Buck's stomach flipped at the weird atmosphere.

He didn't know what to do, so decided to stay a little longer and wait him out. Fifteen minutes passed somehow as people came and went while Buck sat at the counter and lost himself in an old copy of National Geographic that somebody had left out. Most likely for him, which was sweet. He was halfway through an article about sharks when he was aware of movement behind him.

"Buck," It was Eddie, and Buck made himself not react. "We're alone."

So they were. Eddie came to stand on the other side of the counter and Buck looked up from his magazine expectantly. It seemed that they were going to break their own rules even though they weren't actually working, so was it even a rule break? Who knew. Who cared. They held eye contact for a second and Eddie sighed deeply as he brushed a speck of imaginary dirt off the immaculate surface of the counter.

"Listen, it's not that I don't want to see you, or come to see you," Eddie looked up and made sure to hold Buck's eye for a beat before he looked away again. "It's just weird, I know I said it wouldn't be, but i'm worried about Chris, I don't want to confuse him? It's just gonna be another thing that makes him different, you know? sets him apart. But I don't want to lie to him either."

It was rare for Eddie to say so much, and so honestly. Despite understanding all of his concerns Buck was still a little stung. Again, to him it seemed like the unsaid implication was that he would be the one who fucks things up, who changes things. Buck's face must have said what he couldn't, and Eddie frowned before he reached out and touched the top of Buck's hand briefly.

"Stop, with the face. I'm sorry, I know I said that it would be fine. I'm, uh, just confused. Not about you, just how to do this. But I don't regret it, so don't think that. Just, uh, _soon_ , ok?"

Buck nodded and moved his hand away. Fine, whatever. He could wait. He knew that it was too soon for him to ever think he could be happy anyway. Better to have all of the cards on the table so that he could start to get himself ready for when it didn't end up happening. As long as they stayed friends he would make himself be happy with that.

He looked down at the magazine and made himself smile, but Eddie sighed before shaking his head in exasperation. He clicked his tongue.

"Again, with the face," Eddie moved round and came to stand next to Buck, taking a quick, furtive look around to see if the coast was clear before he put his arm around Buck's shoulder and pulled him into what would just look like an innocent bro hug if anyone saw them. "I mean it, soon."

Buck was too happy to be enveloped in warmth, so just shrugged in response. Eddie squeezed him and lowered his head to speak into his ear.

"I just don't want things to change. I mean, I do, the good things. It's just being here, it makes me think about people knowing. Like i'm pretty sure we'd have to tell Bobby, which would be awful, right?"

Buck nodded, and when Eddie didn't react, mumbled 'yeah' into his neck. God, he wanted to kiss him so bad. Thinking of Bobby quickly threw ice water on that idea though, Eddie was right, they probably wouldn't be allowed to work together anymore either. Plus just the added awfulness of Bobby knowing, especially as he knew Buck 1.0. Thinking about it made him sigh, and Eddie misunderstood and tightened his arm around him.

"I do want to do things, I do. Just us." Eddie stiffened and Buck laughed as he brought his arm up to return the hug. "Well, yeah, that too. Your sister is here, by the way."

It was barely there, but Buck definitely felt a kiss in his hair before Eddie squeezed him one last time and moved casually back to the other side of the counter. As he scrubbed at another mark that only he could see, Maddie and Chimney appeared, having some kind of flirty, giggly conversation that stopped when they saw them.

Buck felt like he was blushing, and he resisted the urge to put his hand to his cheek to check. Maddie looked at him strangely, and now he knew that he was. Fuck. She would see straight through him. She already had, months ago. He busied himself with his shark article and furiously willed his redness away.

Eddie and Chim started talking about something and Buck tuned them out, waiting for the inevitable teasing from Maddie as she appeared at his side. When he finally looked at her she just gave him a tight little smile, and he tried his best to return it. He never could hide anything from her, so it was pretty much futile to try.

Before he could say anything Chim came over and started talking to her, and Buck was grateful to be out of her scrutiny as he looked up to see where Eddie had gone. He was leaning against the wall, smiling at his phone. Buck wondered what could be making him smile like that just as his own phone buzzed in his pocket. He fished it out and his stupid heart leapt as he saw it was Eddie.

**Christopher's friend wants him to stay over. I said yes. Tonight?**

Buck caught his eye and nodded, his old butterfly friends back in residence and dutifully fluttering away. When he looked back down at his phone he saw that the text was clearly visible and Maddie was looking right at it, even as she still gave Chim half of her attention. Ignoring her frown, he stood up and gave her a quick hug before he waved at them all and jogged downstairs. When he got to his car unscathed he gave a quick sigh of relief as he got his car keys out.

"Evan."

Maddie. Fuck. Using his real name meant he was in trouble, so he put on his most innocent expression and turned around. Arms folded, Maddie looked like she meant business, and like she instantly knew all of his deepest darkest secrets. Some of which she actually did.

"Maddie, what's up?" 

"So, Eddie?" Maddie glanced behind her and came closer. "It's actually happening? Do you think it's a good idea?"

Buck didn't know how to respond so shrugged, giving her an answer but not a real one. Another person who thought he would mess something up. Awesome. Maddie's expression softened and she touched his forearm gently.

"Has anything actually happened?"

Buck could feel the blush spreading up his neck again and he looked away from her, focusing on a groove in his rear tire.

"Just once."

Maddie smiled, soft and genuine this time, as if she was actually pleased for him deep down. He really hoped she was. If she knew how happy he'd been then she would be happy, just as he was for her. They had eachother's backs, it was just how they worked. She squeezed his arm and smiled again, looking him in the eye.

"I just don't want you to get hurt."

"Maddie," Buck scoffed, wriggling out of her grip "Whatever you think is happening is wrong. It's all fine. It's not a _thing_. It's not even a big deal. And besides, Eddie wouldn't hurt me."

"Not on purpose."

She leaned up and gave him a quick embrace which he returned automatically before she smiled at him and went back to find Chim. He got into his car, pausing before he started the ignition. Maddie meant well, he knew that. But still, he didn't care. Eddie was coming over and that was all that mattered.

***

In the rush Eddie had never actually specified the time he would be there, so after a few hours where he couldn't sit still for anticipation Buck finally caved and text him asking when he'd be over. Eddie told him he had to drop Christopher's stuff over to where he was staying and to make sure he was ok, and then he'd be with him by 8.30.

Everything Buck tried to do to distract himself didn't work. All he could think about was what he knew would happen, or rather what he hoped would happen. Sex. Not that it was all he wanted, of course, but he did want it. He wanted it _so_ bad.

While he was in the shower he thought about what he'd told Eddie before, that he wanted him to fuck him. He'd also promised to himself that he'd make it _good_. What if it wasn't though? What if the actual, real details of having sex with another man didn't end up doing it for Eddie? Blow jobs were one thing, but fingers, prostates, all of the realities it involved were way out of left field for Eddie.

Although, he chastised himself as he soaped up, what if Eddie loved sex that way? Women had asses too. He fought back a familiar pang of jealousy as he thought of other people having sex with Eddie, hypocritical as that was. He was being dumb, he knew. Eddie was _smooth_ , and he had been far from shy when they'd had sex before.

But, _but_ , he thought. Ha, butt. Was that sex? Was only penetration sex? Why was he only catastrophizing all of this now? Why the fuck was he giving himself a sexual crisis when he was the one who was supposed to know what he was doing? Besides, Eddie was older than him, after all. Maybe he was awesome at butts.

Fuck. This was stupid. But what if Eddie _was_ grossed out though? Truth be told Buck's own fingers had never really done it for him and he only really liked it when he was really, really turned on or literally about to have sex right then and there. But Eddie though... _Eddie's_ hand. _Eddie's_ fingers.

Just the idea of Eddie touching him anywhere meant he was getting hard in a blink, even as he still worried that it would be awkward and messy when it actually came down to it. Maybe, he thought, maybe he should get started? Just so Eddie didn't have to touch him there if he didn't want to.

Before he could second guess himself he hopped out of the shower to retrieve the lube that he still kept hidden under his socks like a teenager, and once he was back under the hot water he had to bite the inside of his cheek to stop from touching himself as he managed to work two fingers in before he had to stop.

Hopefully Eddie would be up for helping him out, but he'd made a start.

Feeling ridiculous, and slutty, he toweled off and put on loose sweatpants and a soft t shirt. He debated wearing proper clothes, just in case it made it look like all he wanted was sex, but in all honesty he was too tired, and now so horny that he could barely stand still, let alone be touched by heavier fabric.

A half hour. That's all he had left to wait now. He was hungry, but held off, hoping that he would work up even more of an appetite once Eddie was here. Constantly looking at his phone just made time seem to pass slower, so remembering what he'd been reading earlier he lay down on the couch and found a documentary about sharks and tried to zone out and watch that instead of the clock.

It hadn't been working anyway, but after fifteen minutes the overuse of the stock footage of waves crashing started to tug at his brain in ways he didn't like to think about, so he turned the tv off and alternated between sitting at the counter, on the stairs, or laying face down on his bed before he heard a soft knock at the door.

Eddie had a key, and Buck initially thought the knock was a courtesy before he used it. When he didn't, Buck jogged down the stairs too fast and felt his empty stomach swoop at the sight of an obviously freshly showered and thankfully just as casually dressed, Eddie, who had a gym bag over his shoulder, a take out bag in one hand and his phone up to his ear with the other.

Buck stepped back to let him in, rescuing the about to fall out of his grasp takeout and offering to take the gym bag too, which Eddie handed to him with a small smile. Once his hand was free he gave Buck a little wave that shattered any worries he had that things were going to be awkward. Now he was just excited and happy, made more intense by Eddie running his hand down his spine as he passed him on the way to the couch, nodding and occasionally speaking into the phone.

It was his Christopher voice, Buck recognised, so he hung back in the kitchen and let them talk. He got two beers out of the refrigerator and opened them at the counter, watching Eddie and just letting the nice, content feeling wash over him. After a few minutes Eddie seemed to notice he hadn't joined him and he frowned and waved him over.

As Buck approached him Eddie seemed to be close to ending the call, and just as he sat down Eddie said 'Goodnight, Love you.' just before he said goodbye. There was something about hearing those words in such close proximity that made Buck's chest constrict. Even though he _knew_ they were aimed at Christopher, obviously he knew that, it just made him feel weird, all the same.

He put the beers down and leaned back, trying to look casual as he replayed what Eddie sounded like saying 'love you'. When he could trust himself not to look dumb, he looked over at Eddie as he reclined back and rested his arm along the back of the couch, just as he had at his own house. The comparison obviously wasn't lost on him either, as he smirked at Buck and cleared his throat, making eye contact.

"So, Maddie knows?"

Fuck. Had she said something? That really wasn't like her. After a beat, Buck realized he hadn't answered and nodded a few times.

"She guessed, Eddie. I didn't tell her, I swear. She won't say anything though, don't worry."

"Buck," Eddie smiled quickly and scratched his face, turning to look at the blank tv screen. "I'm not worried she'll say something, i'm worried that she looked pissed. At me."

Buck doubted that he really wasn't worried about her saying anything, but he ignored that whisper of doubt and shook his head, attempting to reassure Eddie as he dared to move a little nearer. He could feel what felt to him like static electricity between them, and he was just _aching_ to touch. He most definitely did _not_ want to be talking about his sister.

"She wasn't pissed, just, uh, cautious," Eddie looked up at him and Buck lost his train of thought. He went for levity and shrugged. "Worried I'll mess it up, probably."

Eddie narrowed his eyes and moved subtly closer, intensifying the invisible magnetic field between them. Buck held his breath.

"Why would you?" Eddie moved closer still, his head tucking in to Buck's neck and nestling there before he finally, _finally_ , touched him, kissing him softly on his pulse point and then peppering him with little pecks until he reached the shell of his ear. "You won't. _We_ won't. I'm sorry about before, today."

Buck was about to answer but couldn't concentrate on anything apart from the feeling of Eddie's breath on his face. He took a deep breath, finally coming out of his stupor as he turned his face to catch Eddie in a kiss.

Fuck, a _good_ kiss. Now that they were here, doing this, how could Buck have ever thought he'd be ok with not doing it? He was drunk on the feeling. As it got steadily more intense Eddie moved his hand to rest on Buck's chest, pushing gently. He broke away, and Buck saw that his eyes were dark. It made his cock stir, which made him squirm and remember what he'd done earlier. Jesus, he really wanted to make this last but truth be told, he'd take him right here.

"Buck," Eddie whispered, stealing another kiss and letting his teeth nip at Buck's bottom lip gently before he leaned back again, manhandling Buck's legs up and on to the couch before he pushed him down again. "Lay down. Please."

Buck complied, laying down and letting Eddie settle on top of him. To his surprise, and happiness, Eddie was hard already, digging in to his hip and sending little electric shocks of pleasure every time their cocks brushed throught the fabric.

Buck remembered again his promise to make this good, and he focused solely on kissing Eddie stupid. He cradled his head with his left hand and ran his right one up and down Eddie's back, skimming over the muscles as he licked into his mouth. It was awesome, no other word for it. Eddie responded hungrily, and the rub of stubble was so reminiscent of the night they'd had before that Buck found himself groaning into his mouth from the overstimulation. He pulled back, breathing heavily and licking his lips when he saw Eddie's eyes flick down at them.

"Ok?" He asked him. Eddie smirked and hitched his hips up in response, making Buck tug on his hair instinctively. Another zap of something passed between them when Eddie leaned into it, and Buck met his eyes, knowing his pupils probably had hardly any color left in them either. He nodded to himself. "Ok."

A few minutes more of dry humping left them both panting and uncomfortable, and when Eddie disentangled himself from Buck's arms and sat up Buck took the opportunity to adjust his pants. He accidentally snapped the waistband against his stomach and groaned, leaning back and closing his eyes as he felt Eddie's eyes on him.

He impressed himself by not jumping out of his skin when he felt a loose grip around his cock, over the top of his pants but still enough to make precome bead against his underwear, he could feel it. He heard Eddie swallow even over the sound of his own breathing, and opened his eyes to find Eddie gazing at him intently.

"Can we go upstairs?"

Eddie's voice was hoarse, his lips dark, shiny and full. As Buck nodded weakly Eddie teased him with a few gentle strokes, smirking when Buck gripped his wrist in surrender. He let go and stood up, letting Buck see his own erection straining his own pants. Buck's mouth filled and he held his hand out to be helped up, which Eddie did. Gracefully, like every fucking thing he did.

When they were both upright Buck stood up straight, for once enjoying being taller and clenching his jaw as he tried to get the upper hand back. Eddie just grinned at him as he moved his hand up to stroke Buck's face, knowing damn well what he was doing and the response it would get as Buck nuzzled into the touch. It was infuriating, how easy he was.

Still, Buck still knew things Eddie didn't, and he was ready to show them to him. He copied the gesture, reveling in the sensation that he'd craved for so long. He stroked Eddie's cheek a few times, just for old times' sake, and leaned in to kiss him softly, nudging his mouth open with his tongue as they gravitated to stand closer together.

This time Buck broke the kiss, trying for a sexy smirk but knowing it was just a dumb, happy smile as he tugged on Eddie's hand and half pulled him up the stairs. Confronted with his own bed, Buck hesitated for a second and met Eddie's dark eyes. God, he had such beautiful eyes. He could just look at them forever. Which he was doing, right now, not speaking and most likely looking stupid.

Why did he have no game whatsoever with Eddie? It was embarrassing, honestly.

Eddie rescued him in the best, most intense way by pushing him onto the bed with just enough controlled force to remind Buck how evenly matched they were. Fuck, it was hot. With a more than knowing smirk, Eddie pulled off his henley and dropped it onto the floor, raising his eyebrows at Buck and looking pointedly at his shirt. When Buck didn't move Eddie knelt on the bed, climbing up Buck's body and slipping his fingers under the cotton before he pulled his shirt up and off too.

Throwing it somewhere behind him, (messy, Buck thought, surprising for a soldier), Eddie lowered his body down so that they were chest to chest. Buck had the gasp kissed out of him as Eddie propped himself up on one elbow as he moved against him, the friction making them both groan.

By mutual, unspoken agreement, Eddie rolled over onto his back and tugged at his pants, pulling them down and divesting himself of everything except his underwear, which was tenting obscenely. Buck followed him, avoiding looking at him directly so that he didn't end up tangled and fall off the bed like an unsexy giraffe. Stupid, distracting Eddie, with his beautiful, gorgeous body.

When he shuffled up the bed he was reminded again from the movement against the comforter about what he'd done in the shower, and for some reason he felt a wave of shyness wash over him. He quickly moved to strip the covers back and climbed under them, folding them back for Eddie, who shrugged and pulled his underwear off with a big, dumb, gorgeous smile.

Buck rolled over and buried his face in the pillows as he clutched the base of his cock. He wasn't exactly calling the shots here. But actually he kind of liked it. Loved it. Loved Eddie. Fuck, abort. He needed to stop mooning over him and fuck him senseless instead. With love.

Buck feigned confidence he didn't currently have and made himself lay on his side, keeping eye contact with Eddie as he lay down next to him. Before Buck could do any of the moves he was thinking of Eddie just reached straight for the waistband of his underwear and shook his head.

"Off."

Jesus fucking christ. There was an actual chance he might die. Hell, it would only be his third or fourth near death experience he'd had in the last 2 years, what was one more?

"So romantic."

Happy to oblige even as he bitched, Buck slipped his underwear off and dropped them over the side of the bed, somehow managing to keep his composure when the covers brushed up against his ass as he lay back down. He waited Eddie out for a second, watching his eyes as he looked over his body. The parts of it that were uncovered. Maybe it was arrogant, but he liked it. He didn't work out for anyone but himself, but there was something about being seen to be strong that just pushed all of his buttons. Eddie met his gaze and maintained eye contact.

"You want romance?"

Eddie was teasing, but Buck decided to answer honestly.

"I want whatever you'll give me."

Eddie smiled and looked away for a second, something unreadable passing over his face. Buck took the opportunity to shamelessly ogle his chest, and he gave in and brushed the back of his hand down Eddie's chest, tweaking a nipple and making Eddie turn back to face him, a playful smile on his lips.

"Why the modesty?" He said quietly, running his hand gently over Buck's stomach where the fabric was resting. "You don't have anything to be shy about."

Eddie's wording made Buck think about the shower, and he squirmed against the sheets. Eddie cocked his head as he slid his hand down under the covers and gripped Buck's dick firmly, squeezing gently at the tip before he began to stroke gently.

"What are you thinking about?"

Buck groaned, ridiculously turned on by what Eddie was doing combined with how he could feel the sheets bunching up around his ass. He shook his head as an answer and brought his hands up to Eddie's hair, running his fingers through it and kissing him deeply to shut him up.

Ridiculously coordinated Eddie stayed stroking throughout, and Buck regretted not jerking off in the shower. He was pretty close already, and he still didn't know how to broach the subject of actual sex yet. Not that Eddie seemed to mind, as he rubbed his thumb along the tip of his cock again and released him, bringing his hands up to roam across Buck's back as they made out.

Making out was exactly what it was. Dirty and hot, all breathy moans and sounds that wouldn't be out of place in a porno. Although even Buck would draw a line at a 'fuck yeah' repetition competition.

He was so into the kiss that he hadn't noticed Eddie's right hand had gone from his back and slipped down to cup his ass cheek, and before Buck could react he felt a finger stroke down between his cheeks and rub softly against his hole.

Panting for breath, he broke away and lifted his hips in an aborted movement. Eddie didn't look at him, instead burying his head in his neck and working on another borderline inappropriate hickey as he rubbed gently back and forth while Buck squirmed.

Okay, this was promising. Eddie obviously didn't think it was gross, which was a start. Buck let himself go, knowing he could do nothing except thrust as much as he could against Eddie's body as he chased the feeling of his cock rutting up against him.

"Buck," Eddie breathed out hotly onto his neck, laving over a lovebite with his tongue. "If you keep doing that i'm gonna come, and I really don't want to come yet."

"Ok."

Buck's voice didn't sound like his own, and he felt himself float away from his body for a while, experiencing nothing but raw sensation as he breathed in and out, committing every touch to memory. Just as he was returning to himself Eddie slipped a fingertip inside him and he scrabbled for purchase on Eddie's back as he tried not to move. It felt like he'd scratched him, and he was about to apologize when Eddie dropped his head down onto his chest and laughed.

"Fuck, that was hot. Can I do that again?"

Buck croaked out a yes and managed to only grab at Eddie's arm this time, feeling up his bicep and enjoying it immensely. He was nowhere near ready for anything more than a couple of fingers, but Eddie's exploratory little touches around his rim and inside him made him feel like he was on fire from the inside out. If he found his prostate he would most likely come all over them both, without being touched.

"Did you do this? To yourself? Without me?"

Eddie grunted into Buck's overheated skin, angling his head to kiss along his jaw and capturing his mouth in a brief filthy kiss, all tongues and no grace. When he pulled back he looked at Buck expectantly, and Buck tried to remember how to speak.

"Yeah. I, uh, wasn't sure what you wanted."

Eddie smiled that stupid, sexy smirk that Buck now recognised as just for him, and slowly added another finger, moving in slow circles and watching Buck's face carefully.

"What I wanted?" Christ, he sounded just as gone as Buck felt. "You think I wouldn't want this?"

As he spoke he rolled Buck gently on to his side and ran the heel of his free hand along his cock, making Buck clench around his fingers. He pulled them out slowly, wiping them on the sheet and kissing Buck sweetly as he draped his body over his back, his cock nudging at the back of his legs. Buck keened, biting his lip as he pushed back against him. He found his voice, somehow.

"Wasn't sure. If you liked it. Wanted to, with me. Different with women."

Eddie chuckled, his breath tickling the back of Buck's neck. He thrust up against him a few times, biting back a sound that Buck would replay for the rest of his life if he ever needed validation about his own attractiveness.

"I've only done it a few times." Eddie said into Buck's already damp hair as he rolled him onto his front and stroked his hands down Buck's body before stopping at the small of his back. "I'm a good boy."

Buck laughed, glad to have a moment's respite from the intensity. The friction against the sheet was maddening, not enough to get him off but too much to let him calm down. He knew that Eddie was looking at him, at his ass, and he felt hot and prickly with the attention.

Eddie seemed content to squeeze and part his butt cheeks, occasionally biting back noises and muttering things to himself that Buck was too worked up to make out. After a few minutes of exploration the bed shifted, and Eddie moved to straddle him, his balls touching the back of Buck's thighs and making him clutch the pillow so hard his knuckles hurt.

"Do you have stuff?" Eddie said as he lay down on top of Buck, smothering him and running his hands up and down his arms lightly. "More?"

Buck had lost the ability to speak, and he fished the lube out from where he'd stashed it in preparation under the pillow, throwing it vaguely behind him as he resisted the urge to hump the bed. Eddie let out a breathy sigh on top of him, and Buck immediately missed the warmth of his body when he climbed off of him and lay back down next to him. He heard the pop of the tube and rolled slowly onto his side, watching Eddie as he rubbed lube onto his fingers. He didn't notice Buck was watching at first, and when he did he looked uncertain for a second.

"You sure?"

Buck nodded, his voice lost in the ether somewhere again. He stayed as still as he could manage as Eddie shuffled closer, keeping his wet fingers clear of Buck's skin as he brushed his hip. Teasing with one finger to start off with, Eddie soon seemed to learn what the little hitches in breath and noises that Buck was making meant, and it wasn't long before he found his prostate. Because of course he did. He was fucking perfect.

Buck could do nothing except turn his face to bury it in the pillow as Eddie worked up to three fingers, twisting them at just the right angle to drive him crazy with every other stroke. Instinctively Buck pulled away just as he felt his orgasm building, and he was rewarded with the look on Eddie's face. That, and his cock leaking against his thigh.

"Now, _please_. I'm gonna come, like, now."

Eddie nodded, and even through the haze of Buck's desire he was at least a little pleased that he'd finally knocked the wind out of Eddie's sails, even a little. He was worried for a second that they'd have some kind of standoff about positions and end up looking like a twister game board, but as always with them Eddie seemed to know what Buck wanted as he moved him onto his other side, facing the wall.

Buck was ready, trying to focus on the items on his nightstand so that he didn't get overwhelmed and cut the party short before it could get started, when Eddie paused, his hand gripping hard on Buck's hip as Buck felt the warm, heavy heat of his cock nudging the cleft of his ass. When Eddie didn't move he looked over his shoulder at him.

Pupils blown, flushed and breathless, Eddie looked contemplative.

"Condom?"

Buck hadn't even thought of that, swear to god. He tried to clear the fog in his brain and cleared his throat.

"I'm clean, but if you want to that's cool with me."

That his sentence was coherent was a shock, and he was pleasantly surprised by how his stomach dropped out when Eddie shook his head and maintained eye contact as he ran a finger down to rub against his hole, which already felt sticky and puffy.

Embarrassed, he turned to face the wall again and bit his lip hard as Eddie parted his cheeks and pressed against him. For an agonising second he kept only the tip inside, and Buck fought the natural resistance of his body as Eddie again clutched at his hip, hard enough to bruise, as he pushed in.

It was so much. Too much. Not enough. He clutched at the sheets as he felt Eddie bottom out, breathing slowly and clenching his ass without meaning to. Eddie moaned and gave a little aborted thrust which made Buck see stars for a second.

"Can I move?"

Eddie's voice alone and how wrecked it was made Buck move, gripping his cock almost hard enough to hurt as he tried not to come. Eddie seemed to understand that Buck couldn't answer, and he squeezed his arm briefly before he moved to hold Buck steady around his waist, his hand resting above his pounding heart as he began to move inside him in shallow thrusts.

Buck still couldn't talk, and he pushed back against Eddie to get him to fuck him harder, like he liked it. When Eddie pretty much immediately did, he felt the familiar tingle as he knew he was about to come. He went to move his own hand, wanting to stroke himself quick and fast so he could get off, but was batted away by Eddie, who only got in a few strokes before Buck was coming, turning himself onto his front as he coated Eddie's hand and striped up his stomach.

Eddie kissed him on the back of the neck and pulled out, stroking Buck's back again and tapping his thighs to make him raise his hips. In a daze, Buck did, and Eddie pushed back into him, going deeper at the new angle than he had before.

"Can I?"

Eddie's voice was half breath and not much else, and Buck wondered what he was talking about for a second, before he realized with a flush of heat.

"Yeah. Please."

It was all Eddie needed, it seemed, and Buck bit his cheek as he felt Eddie go still, and then come. Inside him. Which he had never let anyone do before.

For a while Eddie stayed completely immobile, breathing hotly into Buck's hair as he gradually came back to life. Great as it was, he was actually pretty heavy, and Buck turned his face before he reached up to pat him on the back, feeling the dampness of sweat. Eddie grunted and stroked the side of Buck's face before he moved, slowly, pulling out of him with an obscene sound before he collapsed next to him on his back. They made eye contact, and Eddie grinned. Unguarded. He looked happy, and Buck forgot the ache in his ass and how gross he felt as he beamed back at him.

"Good?"

He sounded like he had razor blades in his throat, but Buck didn't care anymore. Eddie nodded and flopped his arm over his eyes. Buck lost himself in looking at his chest rise and fall for a few minutes, watching a bead of sweat gather in his clavicle before it rolled away. He really needed to move, but he knew it would be sticky and gross, so he stayed silent, listening to Eddie's breathing regulate itself.

With a bitten off groan he made himself roll on to his side, facing Eddie and trying not move too much as he felt the unmistakeable trickle of come on his thighs. He really needed to take a shower, and have some food, but he was sleepy and sated too, and what would a little nap hurt?

"Buck?" Eddie had moved to lay on his side and was only inches away when Buck made himself open his heavy eyes. "We should clean up."

Buck nodded, smiling to himself when Eddie sat up stiffly, before he leaned down and scrabbled around on the floor. He came back up with one of their discarded items of clothing. Eddie's henley, it turned out. Buck decided then and there he was totally going to do a Brokeback and 'forget' to give it back to him.

Eddie wiped his own sweaty chest down and went to hand it to Buck, before seemingly changing his mind and maneuvering him onto his back so he could clean him up himself. When he was done he leaned down to kiss him, and Buck happily responded, using the kiss to keep himself awake.

As the kiss got a little deeper he moved his leg, and he must have done something or made some kind of noise, as Eddie pulled back and looked him over. Realization seemed to dawn on his face and he bit his lip as he went to roll Buck back on his side so he could look.

Buck blushed under his scrutiny as Eddie looked down at what he'd done, his face unreadable. Buck had a fleeting thought that he thought it was gross, but dismissed his insecurity straight away, for once. He knew Eddie well enough to know that this was his 'I like this but I probably shouldn't', expression.

Wanting to set him straight, so to speak, Buck cleared his throat and waited for Eddie to meet his eyes. When he did he went for a smile but it didn't come, only more truth.

"Nobody's ever done that."

Eddie covered his face with his hand and groaned, leaving the henley abandoned, draped over Buck's hip. Buck retrieved it and cleaned himself up before he dropped it on his side of the bed, plotting to hide it later so he could claim it.

"For real?" Eddie croaked out, lifting his fingers to look at Buck. Buck shrugged and nodded. "Fuck, Evan."

Buck grinned. God, he loved him.

"Yeah, i've never let anyone do that. It was awesome, Eddie, honestly. So good."

Eddie covered his face again and laughed to himself before he moved to prop himself up on his elbow and leaned in for a fierce kiss.

"You're killing me." Buck just smiled happily and closed his eyes. Eddie rubbed a thumb against his nipple to get his attention and Buck scowled at him, sulking.

"I'm sleepy. Not been sleeping, dreaming about you."

In the low light Buck saw pink on Eddie's cheeks, and he smiled again, finding some energy in reserve to roll over and pin Eddie to the bed, nuzzling into his neck and tasting his exertion. Eddie entertained him for a minute before he scooted away, moving to sit on the edge of the bed.

"We need showers. And food. Come on, get up."

Buck nodded, and as he went to shuffle carefully over he saw a series of pink lines on Eddie's back, marks that he had left on him after all. Without thinking, he traced them with his fingertip, and Eddie flinched before he realized what they were, He smiled sheepishly and cupped Buck's face before he stood up, gloriously naked and debauched.

"I liked it. You take the first shower and i'll heat the food up."

Buck said nothing as he watched Eddie turn his pants the right way round and slip them on before he padded downstairs. Once Eddie was out of sight he gave into his body and winced as he stood up, hurting in all the right places but stupidly, ridiculously happy.

***

They both showered, and ate their reheated takeout in clean underwear as they watched an old episode of Law & Order SVU that they'd missed the beginning of. They drank a beer that seemed to just make them both sleepy and quiet. And they talked.

Kind of, anyway. Not the proper, adult things they should talk about, like wives and children and co-workers and bosses. Just normal stuff, like they used to, before all of this had started.

Eddie disappeared upstairs while Buck sorted the trash from the recycling, and when he came back downstairs he had a toothbrush in his mouth and pajama pants on. Pajama pants that he'd brought over. The domesticity of it all was enought to stop Buck in his tracks as he peeled the label off a beer bottle. Eddie just raised his eyebrows at him and headed over to the couch to turn the tv off and pick his phone up before he went back upstairs.

By the time Buck went up, moving gingerly despite himself, Eddie was tucked up in bed looking at his phone. Buck noticed with another little clench of his heart that Eddie had changed the sheets too. Escaping into the bathroom to brush his teeth, he was glad to have a minute to compose himself.

He was still worried. Worried that in the cold light of day Eddie would retreat again. Worried that he should have put the brakes on himself, knowing his own history of moving too soon and overwhelming people, expecting too much of them and inevitably pushing them away.

But he couldn't shake the part of him that instinctively batted that suggestion away. He wasn't asking anything of Eddie, everything he'd given him had been given willingly. He really did feel like this was different. Didn't he deserve it? What everyone else had?

When he could stay hidden no longer, he gave himself a quick once over in the mirror, clicking his tongue at the hickey that should just about be hidden by his uniform. For somebody who wanted to keep this a secret, Eddie was going to have to stop marking him up the way he obviously liked to do.

Eddie had put his phone face down on the nightstand and was laying on his front, his head half smooshed into the pillow and his face serene. Putting the sex aside, the very, _very_ , good sex, Buck loved that he could see him so comfortable, so unguarded. Just for his eyes only.

Buck settled into bed, expecting Eddie's eyes to still be closed and blinking in surprise when they weren't. He lay on his back and turned his face to him. He could sense that Eddie wanted to say something so he gave him time. After a minute Eddie bit his lip and nodded to himself before he took a deep breath.

"Tomorrow, or this weekend, just, _soon_ , come over. Come over and _stay_ over. For the night. In my bed. Or the weekend. We'll just be like we are now. But there. With Christopher. Ok?"

Buck nodded, careful of ruining the moment even as he felt happiness spread like warmth through his body. Eddie gave a tight little smile, more to himself than anything, and he leaned over and kissed Buck firmly, slipping his tongue inside before he pulled back.

"Minty," He smirked at Buck and lay back down, turning his face away. He yawned and Buck lay still, soaking in the happiness. "Goodnight, Buck."

"Goodnight."

_Love you._

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, now I really am done.
> 
> Same caveat as before. My mistakes are my own and likely numerous.
> 
> I can't take criticism of any kind, as I am a baby.
> 
> If you hate it. I don't need to know.
> 
> Have a great day.


End file.
